A year ago today.

It's so hard to believe a year ago today I was on my way to the hospital full of hope for a recovery. I remember driving hoping to see her sitting up in her hospital bed and seeing her beautiful blue eyes looking back at me. But that was not the case. A few hours passed and she was gone. Our beautiful baby girl was on her way to heaven. We still miss her everyday. It gets a bit easier to handle as time passes by and now with the upcoming arrival of a new baby it helps make it a bit easier. I have ahd several "strange" occurances in the last year to let me know she is still a big force in our lives. My dog Zoe is a prime example. Sara knew how upsetting it was for me to give our dog Diamond away when we moved into our old house. She always thought it wasn't fair but like me tried to understand that she is with DH's aunt and will be well taken care of. Diamond is crrently spoiled and loving life in Michigan. It's hard to give away a part of the family. Well I have wanted another dog for a long time and figured not until we move. Then along came Zoe. She was a surprise anniversary present from DH. Zoe is our first "Yellow/blond" lab mix. We have always had black labs. I remember calling my sister to tell her our news and to ask to borrow the small crate from her. She asked me if I had named the puppy yet and I said no we have no idea.. she said how about Zoe? She also said she had no clue where that name came from it just popped in her head. Saraboo in action. :) Last weekend I was collecting some t-shirts from my sister so I can make her a t-shirt quilt made up of Sara's t-shirts. I turned around and there is a framed poster of "yellow lab puppies" and mom said oh that one looks like Zoe. Then I knew - Zoe was meant to be my baby. Thanks Sara! I'm hoping to get your quilt done for your mom for Christmas! I think even tho she is going to have this new baby she is going to need your quilt to have a memory of you to hold also.
I have never made a quilt like this so I hope Sara will be my little helper on that project. I feel her around me alot, she was a one of a kind girl and I will miss her until we meet in heaven. I also had an ironic twist. The knitting needles I helped Sara purchase are now mine. My sister doesn't need them or want them so I have them now and the yarn she had just purchased to start a scarf for the nursing home. That yarn I think will be used to make a few square for lapgahns toward Sara Smiles Project. That way I can spread her love around into more than one lapghan. I have been lax in the last few months on the Sara Smiles Project. Lost my mojo. I'm hoping to get it moving again. Missing her helps to get me moving. I have a bunch of squares to get sewn together. I think I will start with that to get me motivated again.